


Loving Lindemann.

by Frankieteardrop



Series: Occasional Writing Prompts [4]
Category: Rammstein
Genre: Blossoming relationship, Living vicariously through Till Lindemann, M/M, Man-dates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-21 14:19:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4832354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frankieteardrop/pseuds/Frankieteardrop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"It had hardly been the most romantic first encounter Richard had ever had, but the look in that man’s eyes sent butterflies through Richard’s stomach, almost knocking him backwards again."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Encounter of the first kind.

**Author's Note:**

> I have attempted to be as respectful as possible when it comes to writing the relationship between Richard and his daughter, Khira-Li. This will contain respectful depictions of both daughters (Nele and Khira-Li). For the purpose of this story, the daughters are not half-sisters. Thank you for understanding.

When he first met Till Lindemann, Richard had not expected things to take the turn that they did. It’s not often that you have a day so terrible that you spend all day feeling like you’re about to throw up, as well as having broken your hand in the most ridiculous accident going, having your daughter’s school call you about her getting into trouble, to then topping that off with having your taxi stolen in the pouring rain by the most beautiful man you’ve ever set eyes on. He had been pushed to the floor in a heap, ass flat in a puddle as he stared up at the man who stepped effortlessly into his taxi. Richard could see that the taxi driver was a little stunned at what had happened, but as the man stared down at his phone, speaking soft instructions to the driver, Richard had had the time to get to his feet to confront this man. 

“Hey!” he called out angrily, wrenching the door open. “This was my taxi! You just knocked me over into a puddle!”

When those eyes came up to meet Richard’s from the phone that sat loosely in his hand, there was a slight frown marring his face. It had hardly been the most romantic first encounter Richard had ever had, but the look in that man’s eyes sent butterflies through Richard’s stomach, almost knocking him backwards again. 

“I am so sorry.” He said calmly, “I’m only going a little further up the road, do you want to share?” He asked, shoving over in the backseat. “I’ll pay, it’s the least I can do for pushing you over.” Richard, a little disgruntled and soaking wet, climbed into the back of the taxi and pulled the door closed as the driver pulled out into the heavy traffic. “I’m Till, by the way.” He extended a large hand in Richard’s direction, a little embarrassed to shake this man’s hand as his were wet and cold. As he gripped the other though, he felt the heat soaking into his skin. How on earth were they so warm in comparison to his own when they’d both been in the same dismal winter weather? And he wasn’t sure how, but the way his skin felt against Richard’s was an oxymoron of its own; skin soft and supple, but rough as masculine at the same time. “I am very sorry…” He said quietly, pocketing his phone.

“It’s fine, really…” Said Richard.

“I’m in a rush, you see. I’m on my way to meet my daughter. I didn’t even notice you there. I thought someone had just gotten out of the taxi, saw an empty door and went for it!” Till explained, but it did nothing to ease the ache in Richard’s tail bone. “You didn’t get hurt too badly, though, did you?” he asked, and the concern in his voice seemed genuine. 

“No, no it’s fine! I think my ego was bruised more than anything…” Richard offered, and Till let out a warm, friendly laugh. Richard wasn’t sure what, but this man had such an awesome gravitas, that even as Richard remembered being pushed to the ground he was still drawn to this person and wanted to know more, wanted to talk more, wanted to be more to him. 

“Oh that’s okay then!” Till’s laugh died down a little, and they both went back to staring out of the window at the dark streets. Winter was in full swing and it was hitting hard with a vengeance. The snow had been and fallen and was now being washed away by the heaviest rain they’d seen in Berlin for twenty years. Richard was thankful though for the small mercies, such as being able to share this taxi rather than struggle to hail a new one. Most people would have slammed the door and taken off. But he was grateful, because he had to get home for his own daughter. She was staying with him a while until her mother found a new apartment closer to Khira’s new school. He wanted more than anything to get home though, as he could feel the water in his clothes pooling close to his skin and warming up, sending goose bumps across his skin. He was terribly uncomfortable at this moment and wanted more than to crawl into his bed and wrap himself in warmth. It didn’t take too long though, as they pulled up outside his apartment building. He dug into his rain-drenched pocket for some change to pay the eight euro charge for his leg of the journey. 

“No, it’s okay!” Till said, gently touching Richard’s arm. “I’ve got this. You go and get yourself warm and dry!” 

“Are you sure?” Richard asked, rather enjoying the warmth in this man’s tone of voice, like speaking with an old friend. 

“Yes! Now go. I’ve got this! Enjoy your evening!” His smile beamed at Richard, and he nodded, getting out of the taxi and waving goodbye. He made his way up the few flights of stairs to his apartment and let himself in, striping his wet clothes off as he walked to the bedroom. He knew Khira-li wasn’t home yet because the apartment was silent and dark. He sat himself down on the bed and turned awkwardly to look at his hip where he’d fallen, the bruise starting to come through already. He cursed himself mentally for having such terrible balance but he had been shoved fairly hard. As he got to his feet to get a hot shower, the home phone began to ring. 

“I swear to God, Khira, if you’re ringing to tell me you’re staying at your mother’s again…” He muttered under his breath before picking the phone up. “Hello?”

“Hallo? Richard?”

“Who is this?”

“It’s Till, from the taxi! I’m outside your apartment building. Your phone was left on the seat, must have fallen out of your pocket! Do you want to come and get it?”

Richard looked at the phone before putting it back to his ear. “Oh, right! Yes, let me buzz you in so you’re not in the rain and I’ll be right down.” He told the other, heading to the front door to push the street door button before throwing on some clothes quickly to go downstairs. He got to the lobby and was greeted with one of the friendliest smiles he’d ever encountered. 

“I did press the buzzer labelled ‘Richard’ but there was no answer.” He explained, laughing softly as he watched Richard. 

“Yeah, there’s a few here. I’m under RZK” he laughed gently, spotting his phone in the other man’s hand.

“Very mysterious. A very Cool pseudonym, no less…” Till smiled, holding out the phone to Richard. 

“Where’s the taxi?” Richard asked, scouting around outside. There was no sign of any cars waiting. 

“Oh, yeah we arrived at the restaurant I’m meant to be meeting Nele and she wasn’t there. And I saw your phone, and the restaurant is literally at the back of this building, so I ran it round!” he said calmly, pushing his hands into his pockets. There was a long pause, and Richard took the time to examine the man who stood before him. He was a little bit taller, and a lot broader than Richard was. His hair dark and pushed back, long on top short on the sides, and those eyes; in this light they were a dark green, and he noticed the small flecks of brown in this iris. “Hey, so look…” Till broke the silence, stepping from one foot to the other awkwardly, “So, I know this is forward of me, but I put my number into your phone, you know, so you can call me. Or you can just delete it. I might have misread a lot of things.” He said nervously. “But, either way it’s there if you want it. Maybe we can catch a drink sometime? Ja?” he smiled. “Anyway, I had better go. I don’t want to keep Nele waiting.”

“Of course, yeah…” Richard was almost too stunned to make any form of conversation. “I… I guess I’ll call you, or text… Or something…”

“Sounds good. I look forward to hearing from you. Even carrier pigeon would be good!” he laughed, opening the large glass door to the street. “I’ll see you around Richard!” he smiled. Richard had a feeling that smile was a rare thing, and only privileged people got a close look at it. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon.” Richard offered, waving as the mysterious man walked off into the rain. He stood there a moment longer, punch-drunk from this experience. This was not something which happened often, and for someone like Till to take the time to do something like returning a mobile phone to him was a very rare event in Richard’s life. As he turned to go up the stairs, he heard the door pull open, letting his daughter in from the rain. “Khira! Why are you so late?!” he asked, watching her wring out her hair onto the carpet by the door. 

“I got stuck at school. I tried to wait out the rain, Papa, but it didn’t stop.”

“You should have called! I’d have had someone pick you up!”

“I did, Papa. Five times. Look at your phone.” She seemed angry at him. And she was right to be; five missed calls from Khira Li. 

“I’m so sorry sweetheart. Come on, let’s get dry and warm and we’ll sit down for a chat. I had a very interesting phone call today I want to discuss with you.” Richard offered his hand to her, and she took it, the two walking up the stairs together.

“Was it school? Was it that stupid literature teacher of mine?”

“Funnily enough, it was, Khira, and I’ve got to go to the school next week for a meeting about you with him.” 

“Eugh, Papa it’s no big deal! He’s making us read a stupid book and I’ve read it before and you should tell him that and let me do something else!”

“Well, no. Khira, you know that’s not how school works. Now go and get dry and warm and meet me in the kitchen and we’ll look at this literature homework you’re not doing.”

The two of them got changed and got into comfortable clothes, Richard making the two of them some dinner while Khira discussed her homework with him. Once they were done, they snuggled down on the sofa with a film before it was time for her to go to bed. But Richard couldn’t stop thinking about Till. He had that man engrained on his mind and had no idea how to start any conversation with him. He tried a few times to write messages, before settling on the simple _Hey, it’s Richard. Fancy a drink tomorrow?_ He decided he’d not check for a reply till morning, and took himself off to get ready for bed. Once in the soft embrace of warm pyjamas, he made his way to fetch a glass of water, and as he did so, heard the tell-tale buzz of a text message on his phone in the living room.

“Wait till morning Richard. Don’t seem desperate.” He told himself, filling the glass before slowly making his way back to his bedroom. “But you do have to walk past the phone to get to bed, so you might as well look…” He said out loud, contemplating what to do. Before he was really aware of what he was doing, the phone was in his hand and he was reading the message. 

_”Yes! I’m free tomorrow night if you are!”_

Great! A wide grin spread across his face as he opened a reply, 

_”Sounds good. 7 sound good to you?”_

_”Good for me! I’ll come by yours for then. Beautiful Vietnamese restaurant near you. You’d love it. See you then, RZK!”_

Richard couldn’t stop himself from laughing gently at the sign off. Till was a great replier, which was always a bonus. In his increasing years, Richard had gotten sick of the dating etiquette of waiting a few hours to reply. He always saw it that if you wanted something, why force yourself to wait for it? Ultimately, who is suffering by waiting to reply or call someone? 

_”See you then Till!”_ he sent and put the phone down, heading off to bed. He had a lot to do tomorrow before the date, if that’s even what you could call it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be back to edit this.

Richard had spent the best part of the day doing nothing, unable to focus on work as he was plagued with thoughts of his date that night. Khira was staying with her mother for the weekend, so Friday night was date night. It had been a while since he’d been out on what you’d consider a proper date with another person, and he wasn’t sure what the etiquette was anymore. He was too long in the tooth to be playing around anymore. Maybe just being straight forward was the way forward. 

He looked at the clock in the kitchen and it said 7:54pm. Till had six minutes to arrive before he was officially late. The weather didn’t look too good but it wasn’t raining yet. It had been torrential downpour the day before, and when he left the apartment for work that morning, the smell of the ground was glorious. The grass from the park opposite his apartment looked so beautiful as the sun fought to shine through the clouds for just a little bit. It was still cold, but there was a hint of sun there. Winter sun was Richard’s favourite type of weather, because it wasn’t hot, but it also wasn’t raining. He loved it. “It never rains in the pub.” Richard said to himself, smiling as he looked up at the clock again. 7:56pm. He moved to his feet, putting the empty beer bottle into the bin as the buzzer went. He felt a little leap in his heart, knowing that Till was downstairs. Suddenly and all at once, Richard felt more nervous about this than anything he’d ever felt like before. “You can do this.” He told himself, pushing the intercom button. “I’ll be down in a minute!” He called through, getting an affirmative from Till. He grabbed his jacket, pacing a little before pocketing his keys and making his way downstairs. He could see Till standing outside with his back to the door, watching the traffic, and Richard took a moment to observe him, to look at how he stood. He stood tall, his hands shoved into his pockets to fend from the cold, and as Richard pushed the door open, he turned to look and he greeted Richard with the warm smile.

“Hallo, Richard!” Till smiled, “Did you have a good day today?” He asked, “I hope no one attempted to steal your taxi today…”

The two of them laughed, and began to walk around to the restaurant that Till had suggested. “It was much better today than yesterday, thank you. How about you?”

“Bratty children, you know the drill…” Till laughed.

“What is it you do, exactly?” Richard asked, watching the other man, turning a corner onto the main street. 

“I’m a teacher, of literature, actually…” Till said, “And you?”

“I’m a session musician, guitar, mostly.” Richard told him, “My daughter’s actually been having a bit of trouble with her literature teacher recently. He called home the other day about her. She doesn’t understand that she has to study the novel given to her, even if she’s done it before. I don’t know what she’s stressing about. Surely if she’s done it before it’s easier, right?” he laughed, suddenly aware that he’d divulged something fairly personal about himself to a complete stranger, but there was something about this man that begged for information to be handed over. He wanted to get to know Till inside-out, and for Till to do the same for him. 

“I suppose so,” Till offered. “I hope it all gets resolved soon then! Literature is incredibly important. I wish someone had told me that when I was a teenager. I’d have read a lot more than I did.” Till added, as they arrived at the place, Till holding the door open for Richard. They were shown to their table, perused the menu and ordered. The place was beautiful, quite like Till had said, and the smells coming from the kitchen made Richard’s stomach growl loudly. 

“So, was I right about this place?” he laughed, hearing the sounds emitted from Richard’s stomach

“You really were. I’m getting serious food envy from that couple over there…” Richard laughed, sipping his glass of wine. The two sat in silence for a while, looking around at what everyone else was in eating, and Richard grew hungrier as he looked around. 

“I’m really glad you agreed to this, Richard…” Till broke their silence, dragging Richard’s attention away from the spring rolls on the table next to them. 

“Yeah, this is nice!” Richard smiled, grinning as their food came. “Oh my god, this looks incredible.” He groaned, wasting no time in digging into his bowl of soup. “Oh my god, this is amazing, you have to try some!” Richard laughed, holding out the large wooden ladle for Till to try some of the broth. 

“Wow. That’s amazing. Very spicy!” Till laughed, going back to his own food. “So what other instruments do you play?” he asked.

“Oh, well I mostly play guitar, but I tried playing bass one time, and also the piano but it didn’t feel right. I loved playing guitar…” He laughed, “What about you? Do you play anything?” Richard asked, sipping on his broth.

“I play a little drums, but not much else.” He said softly, “I’ve not really had time to do anything really, or practice anything. The job is quite demanding.” 

“I can imagine. You’ve got a lot more patience than I have!” Richard laughed, finishing off his meal. He felt awkward, all of a sudden, like this small lull in conversation meant that he was boring Till to no end. Richard couldn’t explain why he was so nervous about this. He didn’t know why he wanted to impress Till so much. He wasn’t sure why he needed this man’s approval so badly, but this silence was starting to make him sweat. He never was good with silence, always feeling the need to fill every moment with noise.

“You’ll have to forgive me for my lack in conversational skills…” Till said softly, as if he’d just read Richard’s mind. “I’m not used to this. Dating, I mean… It’s not something I’ve ever done very often, at least not this kind of formally…” he laughed, which Richard had to agree with. 

“I know what you mean. I don’t understand dating etiquette anymore. It’s been so long since I’ve been on a proper date with someone that I’m not even sure what I’m meant to be doing…” He laughed.

“Wait, so this is a proper date then?” Till asked, putting his cutlery down. “We’re actually on a proper date?”

Richard stopped and thought for a moment, “Well I guess we are, aren’t we?”

“I don’t know, you tell me! What did you expect to happen when you asked me if I was free?” Till questioned, frowning softly, a small smile pulling at his lips.

“I actually have no idea.” Richard laughed, “I wasn’t sure why you’d given me your number, so I guess I gave a vague request for meeting up to see what the deal was…” He smiled, pushing his bowl away. “I mean, I didn’t know whether it was to be friends, or more, or what? I have no idea. But I know that I wanted to meet you, that’s all.” He admitted, chewing the inside of his lip. He still felt incredibly nervous and the last thing he wanted was to come across as stalkerish towards this man.

“Well I’m glad you did ask me. I was worried that I’d read everything wrong and you weren’t going to get in contact.” Till sighed softly, “But you did, and that’s the main thing!”

“So were you as nervous as I was about this?” Richard asked, thanking the waiters as they cleared the table.

“Probably. You did look a bit sheepish when we left yours…”

They sat in silence for a few moments, just looking around. Richard checked out the window to see how the weather was doing, and it looked dry and clear, and an idea popped into his head.

“Hey, so do you want to go for a walk around the park?” He asked, reaching for his wallet.

“Why not! Walk of some of this dinner.”

After some protest from Till, Richard paid for dinner, telling him that because Till had paid for the taxi, it was only fair. The two wandered back around the streets until they reached the park, entering in and wandering around. It was well lit, and the smell coming from the damp grass and flowers was beautiful. 

“I can’t believe you live opposite this.” Till said softly, looking around the flower garden.

“Yeah, I’ve not lived here long though. Only a few months, actually.”

“Where were you before, if you don’t mind me asking?” Till asked, as they stopped to sit down on a bench. 

“Well, I lived in New York for about three years. But I grew so homesick. All my family and friends were here, and those I was close to there just weren’t the same. I really moved back for my daughter. It was getting to a stage where I was missing too much, so I needed to come home. Her mother needed my help.” He laughed softly, “Even though I sometimes feel like a fairly ineffectual father.”

“I’m sure you’re not.” Till interrupted. “Believe me, I’ve met some incredibly ineffectual parents in my time, those who really just shouldn’t have had children.” He admitted. “Teenagers are difficult, and no one ever tells you how to handle them, but as long as you’re there emotionally, and provide food and a warm bed at night, what more could they ask for?”

“Well she did ask me to buy her a BMW for her birthday. She’s nowhere near old enough to drive yet.” He laughed, and Till let out a warm laugh as they sat together. “I thought this would be nicer than it is… It’s just cold.” Richard admitted after a moment of comfortable silence. “Shall we walk back? Or keep walking on?” He asked, watching Till’s reaction.

“Let’s go back. You’re right, it’s getting colder.”

The pair of them walked back to Richard’s building, just as the rain picked up again, and there was an awkward lull in their conversation. Richard wasn’t sure what to do next, but he was certain he didn’t want this evening to end. 

“So, do you fancy coming upstairs?” he asked, “I’ve got this Japanese whiskey from a client up there, it’s very smooth…” he smiled hopefully, hoping he’d not read this wrong. Maybe Till wasn’t as into him as he’d first thought. The evening had gone well, as far as he was concerned, and he wasn’t quite ready to say goodnight just yet, and he was sure that all the signals Till was giving off indicated the same. 

“Sure! That sounds nice!” Till offered, nodding for Richard to lead the way. Richard was thankful that he’d had a tidy up before he’d gone out, because he knew what hurricane Khira could be like sometimes, and leaving that unattended could be madness. The two climbed the stairs to Richard’s apartment, and as he opened the door, Till gasped involuntarily, looking around the flat. Down the hallway and past the kitchen was the living room which had a wall of glass looking out over Berlin, which could be seen from the front door. And while the night was murky and threatening rain, the view was spectacular. It had been part of the reason Richard lived here, and still to this day was his favourite part of the flat. “Jesus Christ…” Till let out a breath, wandering up the window, looking out over the city. “And we’re only seven floors up?” he asked, turning back to look at Richard.

“Yeah, because we’re opposite the park there’s no buildings in front of us blocking the view…” He laughed softly, wandering over to stand next to the other man.

“This has to be the real reason you invited me up here, right? Is this how you woo everyone? Bring them up here and they fall in love with the view from your home?”

Richard laughed at that, looking over at the other still staring out over the city. “You got me. It works every time.” He laughed, Till slowly turning to look at him. There was a brief pause as the two stared at each other, before Till moved forward, fingers curling reaching out to curl around the back of Richard’s neck, pulling him into the deepest, most tender kiss he’d ever experienced. Till pulled Richard close, gently sliding his other hand around Richard’s waist so that their bodies were held tightly together. Till’s fingers gently slid their way into the back of Richard’s hair before moving down over his chest, exploring every inch of Richard’s skin. As he pulled away, his teeth held onto grazed over Richard’s bottom lip, before they stared at one another, wide-eyed and incredibly aroused. 

“Bedroom.” Till said, unsure of whether it was a question or a demand. But Richard didn’t say anything else. He took the other by the hand and led him to the bedroom. It was a frenzy of removing clothes and desperate kisses before the two of them collapsed to the bed, Till crawling on top of Richard. His skin felt so hot under Richard’s hands, fingers digging gently into Till’s flesh. With Till’s lips on his, Richard almost melted into the mattress there and then, not wanting it to end, but Till’s kisses soon trailed down his throat, and across his chest, teeth nipping at willing skin as he sunk lower. Richard could feel his arousal growing, his fingers sinking into that thick, dark hair, gently pulling at the strands. Till’s lips came up to meet his once more. “Do… you have… You know… Any protection… and stuff?” Till said between kisses, hips rolling gently against Richard’s.

“Yeah… Hold on…” Richard’s voice was gruff, propping himself up on his elbows as Till sat back on his haunches, watching the reach into the bedside drawer. “Here.” Richard handed Till a small bottle of Auquaglide. Till watched Richard tear the condom wrapper with his teeth before moving to roll it onto Till’s erection, moaning softly as he felt Till’s fingers push into him, preparing him ever so delicately, almost painfully slowly. And when they finally came together, it was quick, and needy, and painful; teeth sinking into skin as Till’s hips thrust hard against Richard’s. Richard was the first to go, his whole body tensing as he spilled over his hand, their abdomens, the intensity of his orgasm making him dizzy. Till soon followed, hips thrusting erratically as he came, jolting against Richard’s hips. He collapsed atop the other man, holding him close for a moment, unable to move or speak. As the post-orgasm haze began to lift, and the cool air began to catch their skin, Till moved to clean himself up, grabbing some tissues from the bathroom for Richard, wiping gently Richard’s stomach, unable to hold the smile from his face. 

“Are you okay?” Richard asked, his fingers gently running down Till’s arm, catching him before he moved away once more.

“Absolutely perfect…” he told him, leaning down to press a kiss to the other, before moving to bin the tissues, crawling back into bed with Richard. “Are you okay?”

“Definitely.” Richard smiled, curling himself around the larger man, resting his head against the other’s chest. He’d not been able to take the time to appreciate the other man’s physique, making a mental note to himself to take a good look when Till got up next. 

The two lay there in silence for a while, just holding each other, Richard listening to the steady beat of Till’s heart in his ear. He felt utterly blissful. Nothing was going to ruin this. He didn’t feel the usual ‘quick-get-out-run-for-the-hills” that he got when he slept with someone after the first date. He wanted Till to stay, and hoped the other might feel the same.

“Do you want to stay tonight?” Richard offered, “Unless you’ve got to be somewhere for your daughter or something?” he said, slowly propping himself up, looking down at the other.

“No, no, Nele doesn’t even live at home anymore. It’s okay! I can stay.” He smiled, leaning up to press a kiss to the younger man’s mouth. 

“Good.” Richard grinned, snuggling back into Till’s side. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to go over and edit/add to this because I feel like I'm not wholly happy with it. So check back later.


	3. Chapter 3

There was something of an unusual atmosphere about Richard when he woke that morning. He was warmer than usual, and there was a breathing mass next to him that he vaguely remembered through his sleepy haze. And then it all came flooding back to him, bringing a bright smile to his tired face. He buried his face deeper against Till’s chest, wrapping his arms a little tighter around him. He felt so blissful, and he knew this could easily be a one night stand, but he had a feeling deep inside his chest that this would last at least a little longer than that.

Till slowly woke, looking down at the younger man, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. 

“Good morning.” His voice still husky with sleep.

“Morning to you too…” Richard smiled, leaning up to press a kiss to Till’s lips. “Sleep well?” Richard asked, moving to rest his head back against Till’s chest.

“Better than ever, you?” he asked, pulling the other man in tighter to him, kissing the top of his head.

“Perfect.” He said, sighing contentedly. Richard was never really one for affection like this, but there was something in him this morning that made him feel as though he never wanted to let this man go. “Do you have many plans today?” he asked, gently tracing circles against Till’s chest.

“Nope, nothing.” He said calmly, gently moving to lift Richard’s chin, pressing a long, lustful kiss to his lips. As far as Richard was concerned, Till was full of surprises. He didn’t strike Richard as the affectionate type, and Richard hadn’t expected him to be as gentle as he was. But he also suspected that Till could be the rough lover Richard suspected him to be; desperate and needy, taking what he wanted when he wanted it. Richard felt his arousal beginning to pool around his hips, causing him to move slowly against Till, slowly positioning himself on top of the older man, straddling his hips, still kissing him. Till’s calloused fingers trail gently up along Richard’s sides from his hips, all the way up into his hair, pushing it back out of his face as they kiss. He felt relaxed, at ease, with his man. 

He trailed kisses along Till’s throat, nipping gently at the skin with his teeth, biting gently down to form a small bruise just under the collar, where no one would see but him. And as Till sucked air through his teeth, whining softly at the feel of teeth on sensitive skin, Richard couldn’t help but smile. He felt Till’s fingers trailing over his erection, but Richard wanted to move slowly, completely different from the night before. He wanted to savour this moment. He wanted to remember this as their first time together, not the night before of desperation and lust, but of this morning; full of affection and attentiveness.

He took Till’s hands and pinned them down above his head. “Keep them there.” He whispered against the other’s lips, before trailing kisses down over his chest, stopping only to take a quick glance up at Till, watching him watching Richard. He did as he was told, keeping his hands above his head, and as Richard slowly slid his mouth around Till, the sound emitted from the pit of Till’s stomach as delicious, shaky and low and filled with lust. His hands disobeyed their orders and found themselves tangled in Richard’s hair, brushing it back so that he could watch every single move Richard made. While Richard couldn’t admit to having too many male lovers, he was acutely aware of what was necessary for making this sort of thing feel good (most of which he’d learned from the women he’d been with rather than the men). 

Everything about Till was so, well, _masculine_. Richard made himself a mental challenge to break that just a little bit one day, and feel like the more masculine partner in this… whatever this was, whatever it developed into. He took a quick look up, seeing the sheer bliss on Till’s face, his resting back against the sheets, one hand twisted in his own hair, lips slightly parted, breath catching in his throat. Richard felt mildly triumphant at the fact that he’d done this to Till. He’d turned this man into this beautiful, quivering mess. But he pulled away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he sat up on his haunches, looking down at the other. 

“Why did you stop?” Till asked, reaching for whatever part of Richard he could touch, settling for grazing the skin on Richard’s knees with his fingertips. 

“I didn’t want that to be the end of it…” Richard said, offering a devilish smile towards Till, which made the other laugh, propping himself up on his elbows. 

“What’re you going to do then?” He asked, curiosity glinting in his eyes, as Richard crawled his way back up Till’s body, gently pressing kisses to his lover’s mouth, straddling his hips, rolling them slowly against the other. Till let out a low, satisfied growl from deep in his chest that rumbled against Richard’s lips, making him smile. He reached over to the bedside table and grabbed the bottle of lube, moving to prepare himself before gently rolling a condom onto his lover, positioning himself correctly. Till’s hands moved to Richard’s hips as he slowly began to lower himself, biting the inside of his lip to stifle his moans, allowing himself to adjust. He’d always preferred this, because it meant he was in complete control, for the most part, and it gave him a beautiful vantage point with which to watch Till properly, something he’d missed out on the night before.

From up here, Till looked absolutely magnificent; spread out under Richard, skin turning a light shade of pink as the arousal rushed through his body, blood pooling near the surface of his skin in an attempt to cool him down. Till had been warm in the coldest rain Richard had felt in a while, and at this moment, Till was hotter than that still, his body felt like fire beneath Richard’s hands. He let out a soft groan as he rolled his hips, Till’s finger tips digging into Richard’s hips hard to steady him, to try and take back some of that control Richard had gained.

Their lovemaking was slow and passionate, movement for kisses, hands exploring each other’s bodies in an attempt to get better acquainted with one another. Before long, the need to come outweighed the need to feel closer, and Till gripped Richard’s hips tight, thrusting his hips up against the other, creating the friction they both needed. Richard wrapped his hand around himself, moving his fist to bring himself to the edge, and as he watched Till’s movements, it sent him over, spilling over his hand, onto Till’s stomach, pulling Till with him as he felt the thrusts grow more erratic, juddering to a halt, slowing down as he reached his climax. 

Richard didn’t move completely, but he moved to curl into Till, their bodies pressed together as Richard stayed on top of Till, arms wrapped underneath the larger man, face buried against the crook of his lover’s neck. The weight of Till’s arms around his back were a welcomed comfort.

As the post-orgasm haze began to lift, and the cold air began to settle against their sweat-drenched skin, they deigned to move themselves to the shower to warm up, continuing unexpected affection towards one another as they washed each other.

It was late afternoon before Till decided he absolutely had to go home. Khira was arriving later that evening from her mother’s and Richard had agreed that it wasn’t right for Till to still be here when she got home. As he sat down on the sofa, looking over his apartment, out at the city, he felt hopeful for this. He felt good. This was how it was meant to be. Juts one meeting with Khira-Li’s teacher’s and everything will be perfect.

:::::::::

“Papa, please. You don’t really have to meet them! Mumma isn’t even going to be there so it doesn’t even matter! Plus, it’s Monday! You hate Mondays, remember!”

“Khira, I need to meet this teacher to find out what’s been going on, it’s clear you’re not giving me the whole story.”

“But Papa please! Right, okay, I’ll do you a deal, I’ll tell you everything if you don’t get and meet him?”

“No, Khira.” Richard said, handing her schoolbag to her. “I am coming to meet him. 9AM at the school for a meeting with him and the head of humanities.” He told her. 

“Eugh but Papa it’s so embarrassing! Please!”

“Khira, are you saying you’re embarrassed of me?”

“No! That’s not what I meant! Eugh just don’t go! Please!”

“Too late, you’ve also insulted me now so I’m definitely going.”

“No! Papa please!” she mock sobbed, resting her forehead against his arm. “Please don’t go in. All my new friends will laugh at me. Please!” 

“Get in the car, Khira. We’re going to school.” She protested, and kicked off, and refused to talk to him, and also shouted at him, but she was finally in the car and they were on their way to her school. “I just want to make sure I’m up to date on everything so when your mother finally gets into her new place and you go back to her, then I can give her all the information she needs to know about your first term at this school.” Richard explained, pulling into the heaving traffic in the direction of the school.

“Do I have to go back to Mumma?”

“Well…” Richard stared at her a moment, before looking back at the road, traffic not moving an inch. “Well… I mean, do you want to stay with me? I don’t mind what you do Khira, as long as you’re safe and happy, you know that.”

“But what if I wanted to stay with you? Do you think Mumma would mind?”

Richard thought for a moment, moving slowly in the traffic, sighing softly. “I guess she’d be a little upset for a while, but ultimately it’s your decision. You’re fifteen now, so it’s up to you if you want to stay with me and visit your mother or vice versa. Whatever you decide, you need to really think about it though.” He told her, the traffic finally picking up, so they were moving quicker towards their destination.

When they finally arrived, and Richard opened the door for Khira, helping her out of the car before the two of them walked in the main entrance to the meeting. 

“Richard Kruspe here to see Herr Lindemann about Khira-Li.” He told the receptionist, who nodded and told them to take a seat. Many of the students wandering past looked incredibly smart. “I’m sure your mother chose this school because she thought the uniform was nice.” He told Khira in a low voice, “It’s very smart. Do you have the winter coat they do for the school?”

“Yes, Mumma bought it for me. Now stop talking, you’re so embarrassing.”

“You’re just digging yourself deeper into that hole, Khira-Li. You’re not winning me over at all.”

At that moment, a very tall, very thin woman came through the double doors, smiling at Khira, and then at Richard. 

“Ah! Herr Kruspe. If you come this way with me Herr Lindemann will be along shortly. He’s just sorting something out.” She told them both, beckoning them to follow. “My name is Frau Fischer. I’m the head of the humanities department,” she offered her hand to him to shake. “Khira-Li has been a wonderful asset to the school so far, but she’s just having trouble with this one teacher. So if she manages to sort that out, then everything will be perfect, right Khira?”

“Yes.” Khira added in a short, cut off tone. She was not happy about this, and Richard could tell. But it was necessary. Literature was an important subject! 

“Please, take a seat in here, we’ll be right with you.” She told the two of them, leading them through a door labelled “Conference Room”. She left them there and the father and daughter took a seat on one side of the table. 

“Look, Khira, it’ll be fine. If they start slagging you off, I’ve got your back. I’ll sort them out, alright?”

“I know…” She said, actively attempting to suppress her smiles.

“I got your back, baby girl.” He smiled, putting his arm around her shoulder, pressing a kiss to her head. Just then, the door opened and in stepped Frau Fischer, followed by what can only be described as Richard’s worst nightmare. He sat for a moment, staring at the man who entered the room, watching him nearly drop his papers and the cup of coffee he carried in his right hand.

“Herr Kruspe, this is Till Lindemann, head of Literature and Khira-Li’s teacher.” Frau Fischer introduced him.

“Nice to meet you…” Richard offered his hand as Till put his papers down, taking Richard’s hand gently in his own. Richard didn’t know what to do. It was probably safest to pretend like they didn’t know each other. Wasn’t his job at risk for dating a student’s parent or something?

“Something the matter, Herr Kruspe?” Frau Fischer asked, and it caught Richard’s attention and he realised then he’d been staring at Till for quite some time.

“No, no. You just look incredibly familiar to me…” He told Till, swallowing hard, hoping Till knew what was going on. Why didn’t he mention the school he worked at the other night? Why didn’t he tell him that he was Khira’s teacher? Wasn’t this like seven levels of illegal? 

“I get that a lot…” Till replied, taking a seat opposite the two of them. “Now, Herr Kruspe, Khira-Li is an incredibly able student. She’s bright, charming and has an amazing aptitude for studying Literature, however her current attitude if causing concern amongst the staff, and we’re worried that if her attitude continues then she won’t make it till the end of the year.” Till told him, shuffling through his papers quickly. He passed one of them to Richard to take a look at. “These are some photocopies of the pages of her exercise book.” He explained, handing him a few more sheets. “Lots of doodles, not much work. Which is worrying, because her discussion in class is showing us that she’s more than understanding the work, but she just refuses to do it.”

Richard looked at his daughter next to him. “Well?” he said softly, pushing the papers towards her to look at them. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Papa…” She said calmly, “I doodle to help me concentrate when we’re talking. It helps me get my thoughts in order, you know that.” She said softly. “It’s nothing offensive.” 

“But what about the written work you’re meant to be doing?”

“Yeah, well, you see… I get distracted easily…” She added, sighing softly. “I want to finish the doodles I started, which is not what you’re meant to be doing, I know that. But I can’t have half-finished doodles in my book now, can I?”

“Yes. You can, Khira.” Till added, frowning towards her. “Your attitude to learning at the moment is disappointing.” He said calmly. “I know you’re a bright girl. You can smash through this work with no problems if you really put your mind to it, yet every time I open your book to mark it, it’s a disappointment.”

“I’m sorry…” She said softly.

“So what do you suggest I do to make sure you get your work done?”

“I don’t know…” Her voice was disappearing. Richard knew that the word ‘disappointed’ had always upset her more than anything else. She hated it when Richard told her he was disappointed in something she’d done if he were telling her off.

“Maybe give her a spare sheet to doodle on, and she can take that with her to finish later. Book for working, paper for drawing?” Richard suggested.

“Well it’s hardly orthodox to allow her to sit there scribbling in class!” interjected Frau Fischer.

“That might be so, but if it helps her organise her thoughts for discussion, surely it’s more detrimental to stop her drawing and become completely disengaged than to allow her to do what she needs to do to help focus her concentration.” Till added, nodding towards Khira-Li, who perked up a little as she heard Till standing up for her a little.

“Well I suppose.”

“What about Homework?” Richard added, looking directly at Till, “Whatever she doesn’t finish in class she can finish at home with me. I’ll check her book every evening when she gets home.”

“What do you think about that, Khira?” Till asked, smiling at the girl.

“Sounds like a lot more work than I want, really.”

“Well then finish the work in class and then you won’t have so much to do at home.” Till added. “Right, is there anything else you’d like to address here, Frau Fischer?” he asked the other woman, gathering his papers together. She said nothing, shaking her head. “Right, well, Khira off you go to class, I’ll see your father out.” He said calmly, getting to his feet. 

“See you this evening baby-girl.” Richard said, pressing a kiss to Khira’s forehead before she left. He stepped out with Till, Frau Fischer walking in the opposite direction to them once they’d bid each other goodbye. “She looks like she was always meant to be a teacher…” Richard said softly, laughing as they walked slowly towards the entrance. “Terrifying, really…” 

“Richard I need to see you to talk about this.”

Oh no. Was he going to end this now because he was Khira-Li’s teacher? “O-okay? When?”

“Are you free tomorrow night?” He asked, and Richard could see the concern in his eyes. “I can meet you at your place around seven? We can go for a drink or dinner and talk about this.”

“I-is this a problem then?” Richard asked, watching Till for a moment.

“I don’t know yet. But I’ll find out. Tomorrow at seven, yes?”

“O-okay. Let me know when you’re outside.”

“Okay, good. See you then, Herr Kruspe.” Till said calmly, hesitating a moment, before turning away and walking back into the school.

As Richard sat down in his car, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

_”Sorry, I really wanted to, but I didn’t think it was a good idea to kiss you goodbye while on school premise xx_

That, at least, made Richard smile.


	4. Chapter 4

They’d agreed that Friday would be the day they met up because Khira was going to visit her mother and grandmother, so they’d be free to do as they pleased. Richard sat nervously in the bar, peeling the label from a bottle of beer, before ripping it up into smaller pieces, dropping those into the dregs at the bottom of the bottle. 

He felt a warm hand against his back and a kiss pressed to his temple, with a soft “Hey, Sorry I’m late,” as he looked up at the other man taking a seat next to him. “I got caught up at work with marking and lost track of time. Are you okay?” he asked, taking hold of Richard’s hand before pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Richard loved this about Till. They’d met each other three times since the cab incident and every time, Till had always made gentle physical contact with Richard. And it was something that was beautiful, and it Richard never wanted it to end.

“I’m okay.” He said softly, ordering two more beers for the two of them. “Did you have a good day?” He asked, “Were they nice?” he said softly, watching him, gently taking hold of Till’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Fine, they were fine. I’m fairly scary so I rarely have naughty kids. Except for Khira. Which is partly why we needed to address it as quickly as possible, because she was ruining my reputation.” He laughed softly. 

“Well we can’t have that…” He said softly, leaning over to press a kiss onto Till’s lips. “S-so you wanted to talk about us?” Richard said softly, sitting back. “What did they say? Did you ask about it?”

“I did,” Till said, “And they were a little suspicious because I didn’t want to give it away if it wasn’t alright.” He took a sip of his beer. “So I asked, and they told me that it was okay, but we needed to be discreet” he told Richard, gently squeezing his lover’s hand.

“So we can see each other?” He asked, watching him. “We’re okay?”

“Yes. But we need to be discreet, but more importantly how are we going to tell Khira?”

Richard thought for a moment, sipping his beer. “I think we should wait.” He said softly. “I don’t really want to tell her anything for a while, not until I’m sure.” He told Till, leaning in to press a kiss to his lover’s lips. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not. I understand. Plus, it’s quite nice having it just between us, you know? No others involved in our business. I like this.” Till explained, smiling at Richard. “So, what do you want to do this evening?” He asked, “Dinner? Cinema? We could go for a wander around the city?” he asked, pushing his empty bottle away from him. “What do you want to do?”

“Honestly?” He said softly, and Till nodded, “Can we just go home and watch a film in bed or something?” he asked, pressing a soft kiss to his lover’s hand.

“Of course we can.” 

The two of them made their way home from the bar, heading back to Richard’s apartment. 

While Richard was aware that it had only been a couple of weeks since he’d started seeing this man, and really felt like he didn’t know Till at all, he felt as though he’d known this man for a lifetime. There was something in the way that Till talked to him that made Richard feel like they were old friends, like they’d been this way for a long time. Even his touches already felt familiar. He felt comfortable, and that was the main thing, and as the two of them collapsed to the sofa, turning the TV to whatever channel it happened to be on, it all felt so relaxed; there was no need to impress one another, and Richard was certain that Till felt that as much as he did himself.

He looked up as Till watched the television blankly, and it made Richard smile. “Are you tired?” He asked, gently brushing his fingers across Till’s cheek. 

“I taught all day today, all my lessons with no breaks today.” He said softly, pressing a soft kiss to Richard’s fingers, “I hate to say it but I think I might actually be braindead from all the teaching I’ve had to do today.” He laughed, pulling Richard in tighter. 

“I can understand that…”

“So I apologise for being such a terrible conversational partner this evening. But I can’t even think.”

“It’s okay, we don’t have to talk.” Richard said softly, resting his head against Till’s chest. It only took about ten minutes, but when Richard looked back up, Till was snoring lightly. But it didn’t matter. Just being in his company was enough for Richard right now. This was all he wanted and needed.

:::::::::::

They had been seeing each other in secret for approximately seven months and Richard had decided to tell Khira about what was going on. She was coming to the end of her school year and as a consequence, she wouldn’t be taught by Till anymore. The two of them had decided Richard would tell her without Till there, and then they’d all sit down together to discuss it. Richard knew Khira was a fierce girl, but he hoped that her compassion would make the news breaking easier for them both.

“Khira!” he called from the living room, “Where are you?”

“Getting ready to go shopping with mum, what do you want?”

“I need to talk to you a minute. Can you come here?”

“Papa, I’m already late and Mumma’s going to be here in like, ten minutes.”

“I know, it won’t take long. Come here please, come and sit.”

Khira did as she was told, taking a seat with him on the sofa. “What is it?” She asked, twisting her phone in her hand. 

“I’ve met someone.” He started, “And I need to tell you because it’s kind of someone that might upset you a bit?”

“Someone who’ll upset me? Are you and mum getting back together?”

Richard laughed, watching her, “No, we’re not back together. Your mother still hates me mostly.” He laughed.

“Papa she doesn’t hate you. She’s civil at least.”

“Look, we’re getting off topic. I’ve met someone, and it’s a man, and he’s wonderful and I want you to think so too but I think it’ll take time for you to get used to it…”

“Oh lord, Papa it’s not that Paul who comes here sometimes to play guitar, is it?” She asked, “Lord Jesus in heaven, Papa no.”

“No, Khira, stop.”

“Oh good, who is it?”

“It’s Herr Lindemann.” He said, and she sat there in silence. “He stole my taxi and then helped me get home and we went on a couple of dates before I found out he was your teacher. He didn’t know until that meeting too.” She sat in silence, not looking at Richard. “Khira?”

“How long have you been dating him?” she asked, looking up at him, and he could see that angry flare behind her eyes that always scared the hell out of him when he got it from her mother.

“About seven months now.” And as he said that, she took a sharp intake of breath. 

“I have to get ready.” She said sharply, getting to her feet. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Khira, wait… We need to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’ll wait for Mumma downstairs.” She snapped, grabbing her things, slamming her bedroom door before slamming the front door, leaving Richard alone.

“Well shit.” He said, pushing the balls of his hands into eyes, groaning softly. He picked up his phone, dialling for Till. It clicked to life almost instantly.

_”Did you tell her?”_

“Oh good lord, Till, she’s so angry.”

_”Oh, Richard. Is she really?”_

“She gets this look in her eyes that her mother has where there is literally the fires of hell brewing behind her eyes and if looks could kill my living room would be covered in little bits of me because she would have literally made me explode in this fucking room.”

_”No, really? Is she really that angry?”_

“She went out shopping with her mother.”

_”Okay, let me come over and talk to her too over dinner.”_

“No, Till… No I’ll talk to her when she gets home. Retail therapy with her mother will make her feel better and calm her down a bit and we’ll talk sensibly when she’s home.”

_”If you’re sure Liebling?”_

“Possibly lunch tomorrow? But we’ll see how angry she is. I think she was contemplating moving out before she left.”

_”I doubt that. She loves you, Risch, but this is a lot for her to take in. Give her time to calm down and everything will be fine.”_

“Okay, I’ll call you tonight.” Richard told him, sighing deeply. 

_”Ich liebe dich, Risch.”_

“I love you too.” He replied, sighing softly. “Call you later.”

They hung up and Richard sat back, beginning to panic slightly. What if she really wanted to move back in with her mother? What if she stopped speaking to him? What if he decided to never speak to him again? The panic began to set in hard and he felt his stomach turning. He needed her to come home so they could talk about it. He didn’t know how she was really feeling about this.

A few hours passed and Richard had gone to lie down. He felt sick and dizzy and didn’t really know what he’d do if Khira had turned her back on him, so he’d gone to take a nap to refresh his brain for when she got home. He woke to the sound of the door closing, and Khira calling out to him.

“Papa? Papa?!” Khira called, and he heard her drop several bags down on the ground.

“I’m in here!” he called, leaning over to turn on the light on the night stand. He looked over to see her standing in the doorway, before moving to crawl onto the bed with him. She wrapped her arms around his middle, resting her head against his chest.

“I’m not angry Papa.” She said calmly. 

“Oh?”

“It just shocked me, that’s all. And I was angry, but I’ve calmed down.” She said softly, her voice muffled as she buried her face further into her father’s chest. “I’ve noticed you, a lot more recently, being happier than you had been when you first came back to Berlin.” She looked up at him. “I did wonder if you were seeing someone, but I didn’t want to ask, really.” She moved to sit up. “But him? I mean dad, come on.” She stared at him as he sat up.

“What? I happen to think he’s kind of handsome…”

“Yeah, I mean yeah he is, but I don’t know if you’re aware, but he’s… a teacher.” She stage whispered the last part behind her hand, shaking her head. “And we all know those are the biggest nerds ever, right?”

“Awww, Khira! Are you saying I’m a cool dad?”

“No, not even close. But you’re cooler than him. Not cool, but more than him.” She explained clearly before laughing. “But, you’ve been happier since you started seeing him and this seven months has been amazing living with you. So I guess it’s okay with me.”

“Really?” Richard said softly, taking her hands, “Khira it means a lot to me. It really does.” He smiled, moving to pull his daughter into a hug. “Oh Khira, I love you so much.” He said softly, kissing the top of her head.

“Do you love me enough to buy me a car?”

“You can’t even drive but I’ll think about it.” He laughed.

“Come on, let’s order some dinner. I bought you some cupcakes, so let’s get some savoury food and then we’ll watch a film.”

“Okay, but he’s coming to dinner tomorrow to talk to you, okay?”

She groaned, flopping back on the bed, “Papa why?”

“He’ll only be your teacher for a few more weeks, so it doesn’t really matter, right?”

“Yeah, I guess…”

“Good!” Richard said, pressing one more kiss to his daughter’s head. “Come on, let’s order in. I can’t be bothered to cook!”

“Kissing me with that mouth that’s probably kissed him. Gross. But I want Indian food, okay? Thanks Papa!” she grinned, “Now I’m going to go put all my shopping away and get into comfy clothes.”

“Okay,” he laughed, getting up. “Let’s go get some food.” He said softly, dialling to order Khira and he some food, before the two of them collapsed into the sofa for the night with films and food.

::::::::::

“Is she here?” Till asked quietly as he came to the door.

“Yeah, she’s in her room. Dinner’s ready, we were just waiting for you to get here. Do you wa-…”

“Papa? Is he here?” Khira interrupted. 

“Yes, babygirl, do you want to get some drinks on the table?” Khira entered the hallway and smiled politely at Till before disappearing into the kitchen. 

“She’s still a bit weirded out by it but she’s okay.” Richard whispered, taking the opportunity to press a soft kiss to the corner of Till’s lips. “Come on, let’s go.”

The two walked into the kitchen, watching Khira finish setting the table. “Herr Lindemann, if you want to sit here…” She said, pointing to a chair next to the head of the table. “I’m going to sit here…” She grinned, sitting herself at the head place, right in the middle place setting. “Please, Papa’s got to dish up, so take a seat a while.” She said softly. 

Richard frowned softly, unable to hide the smile from his face a little. 

“Please, call me Till.” Till told her, taking a seat next to her. “So, Khira, how long have you lived with your father?”

“Since he moved back to Berlin. So nearly a year now.” She said softly, “But, if you don’t mind me saying, Her Lindemann.” She put her elbow on the table, and leaned forward, resting her chin in the palm of her hand, “If you even think about hurting my father, if you break his heart or upset him in any way, I will kill you. I will kill you.” She said in this stern voice, which frightened Richard slightly. 

“I can promise you, Khira, that hurting your father is the furthest thing from my mind. I have no intention of doing anything that would hurt him. Because I have no problem admitting to you or anyone that I love him.”

This caused Richard to turn and stare at Till. This was the first time Till had said that to anyone else that wasn’t Richard. “Really?” he asked, unable to stop smiling. “Do you mean that?” He asked, staring at Till.

“Yep. I mean that. From the bottom of my heart. I’ve never been very good at eloquently expressing my feelings but this is one thing I’m sure about.” He smiled, and it almost made Richard burst into tears, but he stopped himself, resolving to take hold of Till’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Gross. Stop it.” Khira laughed, mock vomiting to the floor on her right.

“But seriously. I’m happy if Papa’s happy.” She smiled, getting up to help Richard finish dishing up.

Dinner went smoothly and all three of them chatted and laughed. Richard felt like this was how things would be. This was the beauty of the moment. Khira was his harshest critic, and if she was happy then everything was right with the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not wholly happy with this. I'm exhausted and I'm literally so snowed under with work but I needed to do something different to work for a while. I hope it's okay. Sorry there's no porns. I'll write some later on when I get bored with work again later (:


	5. Chapter 5

Richard woke one morning pressed into the cold side of the bed. The body which had previously been there had disappeared, but the scent of his lover was still clinging hopefully to the sheets which covered the pillows and mattress. He groaned softly, pressing his face further into the other’s pillow before he rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. There was a strange silence in the house that morning that made Richard feel uneasy. Till had stayed, but he was missing and that realisation just hit him; Khira was also in the flat, as she couldn’t go and stay with her mother, so she’d stayed at home, but there was nothing going on that he could hear. 

Richard slowly got to his feet and made his way to the bedroom door, looking out into the hallway. Khira’s bedroom door was open, and he could see that her bed was empty, and as he looked up towards the kitchen, he noticed the door was closed. He listened hard for a moment, and could hear someone singing. And could hear something sizzling loudly in a frying pan. But that voice was a revelation. It was nothing like that familiar deep voice he’d grown to love, but it was so strong and rich, and there was a haunting lilt to it that sent chills to the bottom of Richard’s heart. The singing was effortless, soaring high and low between notes, never missing a beat to the familiar traditional German songs they’d grown up with, never running out of breath. His voice was beautiful, but sounded like it could be easily manipulated to do whatever Till wanted it to. And as he listened, Richard felt himself falling more and more in love with that man.

But it stopped abruptly, and he then heard his daughter’s voice, but he was unable to work out what she was saying to him. He found it odd that Khira was sitting there speaking with Till, as usually the two avoided each other while in this space. But then he heard Till speaking once more, and he stepped closer to the door, hearing the older man giving instructions on the homework Khira had to finish for Monday. This made Richard smile, and he slowly pushed the kitchen door open, looking in on this sort of pastoral scene. 

“No, you see, you have to go into more detail in your explanation Khira, and you need to include quotations from the text in order to achieve any marks at all on the paper. The examiners aren’t going to give you anything if you’re not referring to the text…”

“Okay, well that’s fine, but I’m not sure how t… Oh! Papa! Good morning, I hope we didn’t wake you!” Khira said, and Richard felt his heart swelling. 

“Not at all.” He said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, before looking over into the pan on the stove. “The smell of bacon dragged me from my slumber.” He smiled, kissing Till softly. 

“So anyway, I’m not sure how to go deeper on the explanations…” Turning her attention back to Till, Khira picked up her novel and handed it to him, “I underlined the quotation I’m using but I’m not sure how to fully explain because my brain goes dead after a while.”

“Here, let me finish breakfast, you help her…” Richard offered, taking the tea towel from Till and continuing to make bacon sandwiches and coffee for the three of them. 

He kept an eye on the scene unfolding behind him and he felt so at home for the first time in a while that he could envisage himself never leaving Berlin again if it meant being with Till Lindemann for the rest of his life.

He planted the plates with sandwiches on them around the array of books Khira had on the table and took a seat opposite the two of them at the round table. He looked over them both, deep in conversation about the text she was studying. I’d never even heard of it, but she seemed to be deeply engrossed in a discussion about it with Till that it was a shame to butt in and get them to explain it. Richard was enjoying watching them far more than he would if he’d tried to engage in the conversation with them. 

Later that afternoon, Khira had arranged to go out with her friends for the day and that left the two of them with the flat to themselves.

“She’s a bright girl, you know.” Till said, handing him the dried cups they’d washed up to be put away. 

“I know. She gets that from her mother. The devilish good looks are mine…” He grinned, laughing softly, leaning in to press a kiss to the older man’s lips. Till laughed against his lover’s lips, gently sinking his wet hands into Richard’s hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss. 

“Stop it.” Till whispered against Richard’s lips. “I have to get these assessments marked today otherwise they’ll never get done. Carry on the way you are and we won’t get anything done.” He laughed, moving away to sit back at the piles of papers he had on the table. 

“Well fine, misery guts! I didn’t even want to have fun with you anyway.” Richard said in mock annoyance. He turned his face away from Till, feigning to not look at him as he sat himself down at the table too. This made Till laugh more, but he turned his attention back to the papers in front of him and continued reading. 

“Don’t you get bored of reading the same essays over and over again?” Richard asked, flicking through one of the papers, “Don’t they all just write the same shit over and over?”

“Well, yes, it is very boring but its good practice for them and their exams.” Till answered, not looking up at Richard. 

“Well then don’t they all just get the same grade because they’ve all written the same thing?”

“No.” Till replied, laughing softly. “I wish that was how it worked, but sadly it’s not.”

“Can I help?” Richard asked, reaching for one of the red pens. 

“Just underline spelling errors to them and any grammatical errors you find.” Till told him, nodding. 

Richard nodded and began to read, a frown soon furrowing his brow as he continued. “What the fuck is this kid talking about?” he said softly, underlining a massive chunk of paragraph. 

“Who is it?”

“Um…” He squinted at the name on the top of the page, “Hans Müller…” he said softly, looking up at Till.

“Yeah, well… Yeah.” Till said quietly, “He’s a nice kid but he’s never going to be the next Einstein.”

“Ah. Well I’ll leave that one for you…”

It didn’t take long, but Richard grew bored of this activity and grew restless as a result. Much like a child, he began to try and attract Till’s attention to himself. 

“Till.”

“What?” he said quietly, closing the paper he was marking and placing it carefully on the finished pile.

“I’m bored. Can we do something else for a while?” Richard asked, stretching his arms above his head, trying desperately to get some movement. 

“I have five more papers to mark.”

“But Till this is boring! Come on! Can we just go for a walk or something? Please? I’m so bored!”

“Well I can see where Khira gets it from now…” Till laughed, leaning over to press a kiss to his lover. “Go and do something else, like play guitar or something for the next twenty minutes and I’ll come and find you, okay? I really need to get these finished today and then I’m yours for today and tomorrow! I promise, okay?”

Richard huffed in irritation, getting to his feet. “Fine.” He said softly, pressing a kiss to the top of Till’s head as he left, slamming the kitchen door for good measure. “But you really need to get a better job, Till! One which doesn’t dominate our Saturdays!” he called back, slamming the office door as he entered, flopping down into the sofa he had there. 

“Five more papers. Bloody kids.” He groaned, picking up his guitar. He wasn’t even in the mood for playing it. He just wanted to sit there and hold it. Sometimes he felt better just having it in his hands. But he knew Till was right. He needed to practice, and he was bored so this would pass the time. He plugged his headphones into the amp and sat himself on the floor, plucking away at the strings, strumming the chords to the songs he needed to know, as well as attempting to write something, quickly put something together.

The next thing he felt was warm hands sliding down his chest, a gentle kiss being placed against his neck. He caught a glimpse of the clock and he’d been playing for almost two hours. He felt the weight of Till bearing down on top of him as he sat, cross-legged, on the floor. He reached up to remove his headphones and put his guitar down on the floor in front of him. 

“Thank you,” Till said softly, pulling Richard closer to his chest, kissing that soft, sensitive spot behind his ear.

“Are you finished now?” Richard asked, melting into Till’s gentle touches.

“I’m all yours.” Till smiled, sitting up so that Richard could turn to look at him. “What do you want to do now? Shall we go for that walk you suggested?”

“I think I have a better idea than that…” Richard grinned, getting to his feet, offering Till his hand. “Let’s go. Come on.” He pulled Till up to his feet, dragging the other in the direction of the bedroom.

“No, wait. Richard, stop a minute.” Till said softly, pulling Richard back, stopping him in his tracks.

“What? Don’t you want to?” Richard frowned, biting his lip as he watched Till.

“No, no I do… Of course, but… I want to do something different.” He said sheepishly, “But I’ve never done it before so I’m hoping you know what you’re doing.”

“Wait, what’re you talking about?”

“I just… Jesus why is it so awkward to talk about this?” he laughed.

“Just say it. What do you want to do?”

“I… I want you to top me.” He said calmly, staring down into his lap. 

“Why didn’t you just say? Why would that be a problem?”

Till looked up at Richard in amazement. “Well because it’s been the other way around since we started this whole thing so I thought that was just how it was meant to be… I don’t know? You’ve never given any indication as to you wanting that.” Till said softly, frowning. “I just thought you didn’t want to…”

“No, Till,” Richard laughed leaning a little closer, pressing a kiss to Till’s lips. “I will do whatever you want me to. Don’t ever panic about asking me stuff. Hell, I wouldn’t hesitate in asking you to do something for me. The worst you’re going to say is no, right? So why worry? We’re in this together, right?”

Till smiled, visibly relaxing. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to do something that you’re not going to enjoy.”

“Are you kidding me?” Richard laughed, “This is the best power trip I’ve had in months, best idea you’ve ever had in fact!” he laughed, leaning over to press another kiss to Till. It felt easy and it felt relaxed. The two of them moving together to fall back effortlessly onto the bed. Richard slowly crawled on top of Till, kissing him deeply. “Like this?” he said softly. “Please tell me to stop if you need me to, okay? Don’t just endure it.” Richard said softly against Till’s throat, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin there. 

This all felt so familiar but so new all at once. The two of them easily curling around one another, hands moving slowly, carefully removing clothes from one another, mouths exploring skin just as much as hands did. Richard took a moment to really appreciate the sight before him. Till lay spread out in full submission for him. From their size, Richard would always assume Till to be the most dominant of the two. Till was larger than Richard in every respect; his shoulders broader; arms thicker; chest wider. Even their height. Richard was only a few inches shorter than Till but it felt a lot more when they walked together. But, he felt so powerful in this moment. He held all of Till’s pleasure in the palm of his hand. And while Till had admitted to never having done this before, Richard was somewhat of a novice in the topping department. He’d not spent a lot of time in relationships with men, and to say that he had a type when it came to the men he liked was an understatement which meant he always assumed the opposite role to this. But he knew what he was doing and he knew what not to do, because he’d spent a long time learning from experience how not to be treated. 

He got to his feet, grabbing the bottle of Aquaglide and a condom from the drawer before settling back on his knees between Till’s legs.

“You’ve never done this before?”

“No. Have you?”

“Once or twice… But I know what I’m doing. It’s going to feel weird. B-but it’ll be okay!” Richard said softly in an attempt to quell any of Till’s fears.

“It’s okay. Just do what you need to.”

Richard nodded, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Till’s lips. He coated his fingers in the lube, sitting up on his haunches. He gently pressed one finger forward, gently sinking into the other. He watched every muscle in the older man’s body tense up, before letting out a shaky breath, a lustful moan. 

“Jesus Christ…” He moaned softly, “You were right. It does feel weird…” He told Richard, hands moving to grip at the tops of Richard’s arms. Richard couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face. He leaned down, moving his finger gently, pressing a long, deep kiss to Till’s lips, gently sliding another finger in, pushing further, deeper, moving slowly so as not to inflict more pain that was already being caused. The sounds escaping from Till were the most beautiful, ethereal sounds he’d ever heard. He felt Till’s body relaxing, and he knew Till was ready, or as ready as he’d ever be. 

Richard positioned himself, watching Till. He pressed a soft kiss to Till’s lips, gently pushing himself forward, sinking in, moving slowly. As he did so, Till’s breath caught in his throat, and he gripped hard at Richard’s arms, a shaky moan leaving his mouth. 

“Are you okay?” Richard whispered, gently pressing a kiss against Till’s forehead, his cheek, his jaw. “We can sto-…”

“No.” Till interrupted, “No, move, please. Just move…” Till groaned, fingers loosening their grip on the tops of Richard’s arms, gently sliding over his skin. Richard began moving his hips, moaning softly as he did so. This felt much better than he’d imagined. It felt incredible. They moved together so slowly, so painfully slow, that it was almost overwhelming for the both of them. Richard picked up a pace, feeling the other's body relaxing under him. His nails and teeth digging into Till’s flesh as they moved together, Till reciprocating every movement Richard made. As they continued, their love making turned to fucking; raw and aggressive, needy and helpless. They were slaves to their base urges when in this moment. Till's legs wrapped around Richard's hips, holding him in, drawing him deeper, gripping him tighter. Richard could feel his end coming, and watched Till wrap his hand around himself, fist moving over his cock. He knew he was close, as the breath caught in his throat, the moans turning into breath-holding, trying to extend his orgasm as long as possible. And when Till came, spilling onto his own hand and their abdomens, ever muscle in his body tensed so tightly that Richard couldn’t move. He pulled Richard deeper, locking him in with his legs, not allowing him to move an inch. But he didn’t need to move, and he didn't need to hold Richard down. That friction was enough to send him over, following his lover, and the two collapsed together in a heap, exhausted and needy for affection.

They lay together, once Richard had moved and Till rested his head against Richard’s chest, arm draped over the other’s middle.

“Are you sure you’ve never done that before?”

“Definitely sure…” Till assure him.

“Well you took that surprisingly well. Jesus, I remember my first time receiving was the worst experience of my entire life…” he laughed, pressing a kiss to Till’s forehead. 

“It was good. I enjoyed it. Plus, I like a bit of pain anyway…” He admitted, leaning up to kiss Richard. This shocked Richard slightly, but it made a lot of sense. The other seemed to enjoy biting and scratching among other things, so it wasn’t surprising that pain was up there on the turn-on list. 

“Well then maybe we can get more adventurous, if you like pain, surely?”

“Why not? Isn’t that what this is all about anyway? Exploring each other and stuff?”

“Exactly,” Richard agreed, “We should be exploring what we like and don’t like…” he smiled.

“Maybe we should go away for a weekend or something soon. I was thinking about it the other day…” Till suggested, “Go to the country side or something? It’s up to you…”

Richard smiled down at Till, pressing a long, deep kiss to the other’s lips. “We’ll see. I’m sure we can work something out!” he grinned, pressing a deep kiss to Till’s lips once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to end it here. This feels right. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> So I saved a list of trash AUs from tumblr and I picked one because it actually cracked me up but then I read a book which really kind of inspired some sort of terrible creative burst in me. Despite the fact I've been trying to write this for a week and a half now means I'm already sick of it and this is only one chapter of however many I fit this story into. Anyway, I'm not going to put the prompt up because I don't want to give too much away, but I think you can guess where this is heading, so I'll leave you to it. All comments and criticisms are welcomed. Criticisms are constructive and help me to be a better writer! So help me. HELP ME! D;


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